ambivalent
Having strong but opposite feelings about the same thing.
Ambivalent means having mixed feelings about something, where you're genuinely pulled in two different directions at once. When you're ambivalent about going to a party, part of you wants to go and have fun, while another part wants to stay home and read. Both feelings are real and strong, making it hard to decide.
Ambivalence is different from just being unsure or not caring. If you don't care whether you have pizza or tacos for dinner, that's indifference, not ambivalence. But if you're ambivalent about switching schools, you might feel excited about new opportunities and sad about leaving old friends. Both emotions exist together, sometimes making you feel stuck or conflicted.
You might feel ambivalent about growing up: eager for new freedoms but also nervous about new responsibilities. A student could be ambivalent about winning a competition if it means a friend loses. These contradictory feelings are a normal part of life, especially when facing meaningful choices.