Assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and confidently while still respecting others. When you're assertive, you stand up for yourself without being pushy or mean.

Imagine you're working on a group project and one person keeps ignoring your ideas. An assertive response would be: “I'd like us to consider my suggestion about the presentation format.” You're not demanding or rude, but you're not staying silent either. You're making sure your voice gets heard.

Being assertive is different from being aggressive. Aggressive people try to get what they want by overpowering others, raising their voices, or making demands. Assertive people state what they want calmly and directly. It's also different from being passive, where you stay quiet even when something bothers you or when you have something important to contribute.

Learning to be assertive helps in many situations. You might need to tell a friend that something they said hurt your feelings, ask a teacher to explain something you didn't understand, or let teammates know you disagree with a decision. Assertive people can do these things without anxiety or anger. They just say what needs to be said with confidence and respect.