Ingratiating means deliberately trying to make someone like you, often by being overly nice, flattering, or agreeable in a way that feels calculated or insincere. When someone uses an ingratiating tone, they might shower you with compliments, laugh extra hard at your jokes, or constantly agree with everything you say, all because they want something from you or want to get on your good side.

Picture a student who never talks to the teacher all year suddenly appearing at her desk with compliments about her teaching style the day before report cards come out. That ingratiating behavior feels different from genuine friendliness because you can sense the strategy behind it.

Someone being ingratiating is trying to work their way into your good graces, but they're doing it in a way that can feel phony or manipulative. You might notice an ingratiating smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes, or an ingratiating laugh that sounds forced.

Real friendship builds naturally through shared interests and genuine care. Ingratiating behavior, by contrast, has an agenda.