Self-restraint is the ability to control your own impulses and behavior, especially when you're tempted to do something you know you shouldn't. It's stopping yourself from eating a third cookie when you've already had two, or keeping your mouth closed when you're bursting to reveal a friend's surprise party.

Self-restraint involves recognizing what you want to do in the moment and choosing to do something different because you understand the bigger picture. When you're furious at your sister but take a deep breath instead of yelling, that's self-restraint. When you keep working on your homework instead of grabbing your phone every five minutes, that's self-restraint too.

The word suggests strength, not weakness. It takes more power to resist an impulse than to give in to it. A person with self-restraint isn't someone who never wants things or never feels frustrated. They feel those urges just like everyone else but have developed the capacity to pause and choose their response.

Self-restraint helps you avoid regret. That mean comment you didn't blurt out, that expensive toy you didn't beg for, that extra video game hour you didn't take when you had a test the next day: these moments of restraint often lead to better outcomes than giving in would have. Scientists who study success have found that children who show self-restraint tend to do better throughout their lives, not because they're smarter, but because they can work toward long-term goals without getting constantly sidetracked by short-term temptations.