To be unfeeling means lacking sympathy, compassion, or sensitivity to others' emotions. An unfeeling person might see their friend crying and not care why, or hear about someone's problem and respond with coldness instead of concern.

Think of the difference between these responses when a classmate's pet dies: a caring friend says “I'm so sorry, that must be really hard,” while an unfeeling response might be “Whatever, it was just a hamster.” The unfeeling person isn't necessarily trying to be cruel. They simply don't register or respond to other people's feelings.

The word can also describe things that literally cannot feel, like unfeeling stone or metal, but it's most often used to criticize someone's lack of emotional awareness. When we call someone unfeeling, we're pointing out that they're missing something important: the ability to recognize and care about how others feel.

Being unfeeling is different from being calm in a crisis or controlling your emotions. A doctor stays professional while treating injuries, but that doesn't make her unfeeling. She genuinely cares about her patients. An unfeeling person, by contrast, simply doesn't connect with others' emotions.